So I am very fascinated by the paranormal, believe in ghosts and all that. I watch a lot of shows about it which usually leads me to believe that there are ghosts in my house. My children like to encourage this belief by hiding random things from me.
One time, I had my baby niece over for the weekend and the one and only bottle that I had for her went missing. I literally saw her sitting on the stairs with it one minute and then the next minute it was just gone. I searched high and low and tore my house up looking for that bottle. Since I had been encouraging her mother to wean her from the bottle, I became convinced that my late grandmother must have taken things into her own ghostly hands and took the bottle. I was sure that if I ventured into the attic crawlspace, I would find the bottle tucked away in a corner up there. I wasn't going in that crawlspace. This went on for weeks until my oldest son finally admitted that he had actually fallen on the bottle and it broke so he threw it away. When I started freaking out about a ghost stealing it, he decided it would be more amusing to let me carry on then tell me what really happened.
More recently, my dog's bed went missing. Now this is a large round dog bed, probably 3 or 4 feet across. I had it on the floor next to my own bed and it was so big that there was no room to walk anywhere but on top of it. One day I came home and it was just gone. I looked in the basement thinking maybe the dog had thrown up on it and my husband took it downstairs to wash it. Nope. I don't have a big house so it didn't take long for me to search the rest of the rooms. And like I said, the darn thing is huge so it wouldn't be easy to hide. I looked under my bed, everywhere. Finally I became convinced that either a burglar broke in and stole nothing but the dog bed.....it's a nice dog bed but I didn't think that was too plausible. No, a ghost taking the dog bed definitely made more sense. So once again, I'm running around freaking out about the ghost and suddenly I remembered the bottle incident. I demanded truth from each of my kids "did you take the damn dog bed???" They both fervently denied it. I inspected their faces closely because I am pretty good at telling when they are lying, especially my youngest. They both seemed as genuinely perplexed as I was. My youngest even offered to help me look for it. This convinced me even more that it was definitely the work of the ghost. Just as I was becoming comfortable with the notion that a ghost powerful enough to move a huge dog bed into another dimension was residing with us, I heard my oldest hiss to my youngest "What did you do with it?" and my youngest giggling like a fool. Turns out my youngest thought it would be funny to shove the dog bed all the way under my bed to make me think a ghost took it. It worked of course. Even though I did look under my bed I kind of only glanced thinking I would see it pretty close to the edge if for some reason it got pushed under there.
This brings me to my latest ghost adventure. Today I came home from work and like usual I went straight upstairs to change into what I refer to as my "bum clothes". Standard issue yoga pants that have never seen yoga, old soft t-shirt and comfortable wireless bra. I always take my jewelry off first. I have one of those big standing jewelry boxes with drawers. I took off my earrings which were about the size of a quarter, flat and kind of resembled silver snowflakes. I opened the earring drawer and with an earring in each hand, dropped them into a slot. I SAW THE DAMN EARRINGS LEAVE MY HANDS. But only one was in the jewelry box. I mean, I freaking saw the earring between my fingers one moment, I dropped it out of my fingers into the box and then........it was like it got sucked into nothing. What. the. Hell. Was there a portal to another dimension in my jewelry box?? Some kind of black hole vortex?? I know my history so I checked on the floor just in case maybe the earring bounced out. I checked my clothing in case it got snagged on my shirt. I checked my ears in case I hallucinated taking them out in the first place. I pulled the drawer out of the jewelry box and inspected every little slot and pulled out other earrings to make sure it wasn't just blending in with something. Nothing. Nothing!! Finally, just as I once again had convinced myself that this time was definitely a situation of paranormal phenomena, I went to put the drawer back and there, stuck to the GOTDAMN MAGNET that holds the jewelry box doors shut, was my stupid fucking earring.
Well played ghosts. Well played.
No comments:
Post a Comment